


Epiphany

by LydianNode



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Fatherhood, Friendship, Gen, Is there such a thing as mildly angsty humour?, Language, Maybe humour with a touch of angst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-10-01 00:39:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17234156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LydianNode/pseuds/LydianNode
Summary: (1975)Roger, Brian, and Freddie visit the Deacons' new baby. Brian is awkward, Roger wants to teach him to play drums, and Freddie is Freddie. Only it's not that simple.





	Epiphany

1975

 

Roger shifted the bouquet of sunflowers from one hand to the other as he waited for the lift. He let out a loud sigh and turned toward Brian. "I hope you can manage to shove that in there, mate," he said, waving the vase at the Godzilla-sized teddy bear obscuring Brian's face.

"I can tell you what to shove." The grumpy reply was rendered hilarious because it sounded as if it came from the bear's head. Brian waggled one stuffed paw at Roger. "But seriously, shouldn't we wait for Freddie?"

"Nope. Maybe if we leave him behind more often, he'll start showing up on time." Roger knew he sounded catty, but he couldn't imagine why Freddie would let himself run late to meet John's brand-new son. He'd hardly talked about anything else the last few weeks of Veronica's pregnancy, after all, and he'd been the first person John had called the day the baby arrived.

At last the lift stopped at their floor and they managed to wrangle themselves and the teddy bear inside without tearing the bear, spilling the water from the vase, or causing any other sort of havoc. After fidgeting some more with the flowers, Roger managed to push the correct button with his elbow.

"John's a father," Brian mused aloud for about the thirtieth time in two days. Roger rolled his eyes. "Sorry. I just can't quite make myself believe it."

"Not exactly the Rockstar Image - but then, John never really went in for that."

"Except the booze," Brian said, then he added, "And the screwing. Although nothing close to what you could manage on any given tour."

Roger grunted in mock annoyance. "Only Freddie could outdo me on that score."

"Might be too close to call."

"Hey--"

The lift stopped and the doors opened, revealing John as he paced anxiously back and forth. His face relaxed when he saw his friends, and he favoured them with a beatific smile. Roger had never seen him look that happy. "Hey there, Papa Deacon," he called out as he helped Brian shove the teddy bear through the door.

"Congratulations, John!" Brian let the bear fall to the floor and held out his arms. He hugged John tightly, clapping him on the back. "How's Ronnie?"

"Sleeping right now, but I told her to expect a visit from you lot." He tilted his head, puzzled. "Where's Freddie?"

"Operating on Fredwich Mean Time, darlings," Roger replied in a fairly good imitation of Freddie's voice. It sounded bitchy, irritated, but Brian and John chuckled anyway.

Brian and John maneuvered the bear down the corridor. Roger was at their heels, giving a wink and a nod to the cute nurses who crossed his path. John stopped in front of a private room and put one finger to his lips before opening the door.

Floral tributes, balloons, and greeting cards were everywhere, on every surface available. Roger quietly set the vase of sunflowers on the table next to Veronica, looking down at her as she slept. Her face showed the signs of exhaustion that were all too familiar from checking his mirror on tour - pale, except for blue-grey circles beneath the eyes - but even though she was asleep, she was smiling.

"She looks great," Roger whispered to John, whose eyes sparkled as he nodded.

"Wait 'til you see this." John indicated the bassinet next to the bed. He reached in and lifted out a blue bundle, cradling it so tenderly that Roger felt a lump rise in his throat at the sight. "This is Robert," John announced as he pulled back the blanket to show a round, rosy little face. "Robert, that's your Uncle Brian, and that's your Uncle Roger," he added, nodding more or less in in their directions without ever taking his eyes off of the baby.

Roger exchanged a grin with Brian. Yes, indeed, John was a father, and probably the proudest one in all Britain. "Well done, you," Brian murmured as he leaned over John's shoulder to get a better look. "He's fantastic."

"Fingers and toes and everything." John turned toward Brian. "Here - hold him."

"Uh...maybe not a good idea," began Brian, backing away slightly, but John stopped him and arranged his arms to hold the baby.

"Mind his head," chimed in Roger. When the other two gave him a quizzical look, he said, "I have a little sister, remember?" He had fond recollections of rocking Claire in his arms as their mother coached him how to keep her safe. 

He and John stood together, watching Brian hold Robert. Brian's long-fingered hands seemed incongruous with the tiny, precious bundle. Robert stirred in his arms, one chubby little fist coming up and grabbing at Brian's hair. "Ow!" Brian hissed as quietly as possible. "Someone come get him!"

Roger had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. He reached for the baby while John disentangled Brian's hair from the inquisitive fingers. "Strong hands," Roger declared. "Let's make you into a drummer, what do you say?" Robert blinked up at him, and Roger beamed back. "I'll get you a tiny kit, how about that?" 

"He can play whatever he wants, or nothing, if that's what he wants," John said mildly, never taking his eyes off of his two-day-old son. It was clear that John was guarding him, his whole body leaning toward him as if he were true north. Roger caressed the soft cheeks with one finger, tenderly, then passed the baby back to John.

"We should probably go, let Ronnie get some rest," Roger said in a stage whisper. "Congratulations, Deacy, he's--"

"Darlings!"

The door flew open as if by magic and Freddie entered, arms loaded with an unholy number of gift-wrapped packages. Brian frantically signaled for him to lower the volume, but Freddie paid him no mind whatsoever.

"I thought you two would wait for me, but I see you just had to get a step ahead."

"We weren't ahead - you were half an hour behind," Brian reminded him, still motioning for Freddie to lower his voice. "She's asleep, you twat."

"I'm actually not." Veronica was slowly shifting up in the bed. Roger went over to help her with the pillows while Freddie deposited his gifts the corner. "Hi, guys."

Freddie's face lit up, his eyes alight, and he ran over to the bed - displacing Roger - to take Veronica's hand in his. He held it to his lips, then to his heart. "Darling Ronnie, how ARE you?"

She looked at Freddie the way she always did, with a combination of amusement and exasperation, as if he were a naughty but loveable child. "I'm tired, of course, but I'm so happy."

Leaning over to kiss her forehead, Freddie said, "Well, naturally you're tired after what you went through, you poor dear. John said it took fourteen hours! Was it absolutely ghastly?"

Brian coughed discreetly whilst Roger considered throwing Freddie out the window if only that might shut him up. John merely turned away and took a couple of deep breaths.

Veronica, always thoughtful, sidestepped the question with remarkable grace. "Do take a look at Robert - I think he favours John, don't you?"

"Let's see the little man." Freddie gawped into the cocoon of blankets. "I really can't tell anything when they're this new - like a lump of dough that's not fully baked."

"Jesus, Fred," Roger muttered through his teeth.

"But he's absolutely fantastic, darling. You made a beautiful little baby!"

Drily, John remarked, "I had a hand in it, you know."

The curve of Freddie's smile told Roger that something awful was about to come out of his mouth, and he wasn't wrong. "I don't think it was your hand that was in it, Deacy."

This time, Brian coughed so hard that he doubled over, hands on his knees. Roger patted him on the back and directed a scowl at Freddie, who didn't seem to notice. He pecked John on the cheek then went back to Veronica's side. "I couldn't decide what to get you, so I just kept getting...things. Some of them I can't even identify but the salesgirls all swore they were just what you'd need."

"That's very sweet, Freddie, thank you so much." She blew a kiss at Freddie, who pretended to catch it in his hand. "John, let Freddie hold Robert, okay?"

John was clearly trying not to smirk as he transferred the baby to Freddie's arms. "Just for God's sake don't drop him."

"Never," breathed Freddie as he lowered his head to take a second look. His expressions changed from nervousness to acceptance to something else, something like awe. Roger had known Freddie for years, and in all that time he never saw Freddie look...like THAT. He cast a glance at Brian, whose eyes were widening. He must have seen it, too.

It was like watching a time-lapse movie about a flower budding and blooming, or watching Freddie take off layers of stage makeup. All artifice stripped away, his myriad, exaggerated shields evaporated. 

Freddie was staring down at the tiny boy, transfixed. With tears in his eyes, he started to hum a lullaby until his voice cracked and he fell silent. 

"Freddie?" Brian put one hand on Freddie's shoulder, brows drawn together in concern. "You okay?"

A nod was the only response. Roger could see Freddie biting down on his lower lip, hard, as he continued to gaze lovingly at Robert's face. When he finally looked back up, his visage was so sad and tearful that Roger had to fight tears of his own.

Alarmed, John swooped in and began to take his son from Freddie's embrace. Freddie reached out one hand as if trying to stay connected, until only his fingers remained in contact with the blanket.

Brian put his arm around Freddie, holding lightly, and stared imploringly at Roger. After darting a glance at John, who was settling his son in with Veronica, Roger moved to Freddie's other side and nudged him with his shoulder. "Freddie?"

Freddie began to blink rapidly, tears glistening on his eyelashes. "Don't mind me, darlings. Just a bit of mourning for what I can't ever have." He forced a thin, tight smile that made Roger's blood run cold. 

"Oh, Freddie," Veronica murmured. "Give Mary some time. She'll come around once you get married."

Brian winced and Roger's throat tightened. They'd had quite a few occasions in the last six years to get drunk enough to speculate about what Freddie was hiding, why it had been years since the proposal to Mary yet he was not one step closer to the altar. _I don't think even he knows_ , Brian had said. But it seemed as if Freddie was getting an inkling.

They hadn't ever discussed it with John, but it wouldn't be long now before he put the pieces together.

What a fucking mess.

Roger wanted to come up with something, anything at all, that would lighten the mood, but his brain refused to cooperate. Mercifully, John regained his composure first and remarked, "You already have your hands full with those two. Especially Roger," he added with a wink.

Roger could feel Freddie's body tense up against his own, briefly, then just as suddenly it relaxed. Freddie adjusted his posture, his head balanced just so and the artificial smile slowly becoming a genuine one. _Mercury_ had been the best name he could have chosen for himself, Roger thought as he watched Freddie becoming...Freddie, again.

Order was restored in their little world, or whatever passed for order when Freddie was around.

"We should let you get some peace and quiet." Roger enfolded John in a congratulatory hug and John held him tightly for a moment before whispering, "Make sure he's okay."

Freddie was saying goodbye to Veronica, tucking her hair behind her ears and promising "to send someone good" to pamper her once she went home. He caught John's eye and lifted his chin as he smiled. "I have cigars for later - a chocolate one for Brian, of course, as he doesn't indulge." He made it sound like a character flaw, earning him a swat on the back of the head from Brian.

The new-father glow lit up John's eyes as he walked them to the door. "I'll drop by yours when visiting hours are over, Freddie. And thanks so much. For everything."

"Say goodbye to the three wise men," Veronica murmured to Robert as John took her hand and kissed it.

Roger looked at their offerings: his flowers, Brian's toy, and whatever the hell was in Freddie's boxes, so numerous that it looked as if half of Harrods had landed in the hospital room. Brian patted his pockets, grinned sheepishly, and said, "I must've left the myrrh in my other pants - sorry!"

"We're three men, darling," Freddie put in, vivacity gradually seeping back into his tone, "but wise - that might be beyond us." He ushered Roger and Brian into the corridor, where he asked, in the affronted tone Roger loved so well, "What the fuck is myrrh, anyway, and why would a baby need it?"

As Brian explained, in his mildest schoolteacher tones, the history of spice in medical and Biblical writings, Roger slowed his pace to let his friends walk ahead. He was content to observe them, to hold this moment close as a talisman against whatever might happen in the future.

"Didn't any of them think to bring food? Darling, they were anything but wise!"

_Neither are we_ , thought Roger as he watched his friends, but at least his heart was light. 

**Author's Note:**

> I've started a Tumblr! Find me here: lydiannode.tumblr.com .


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